The Battle of 2 Blokes for One Smoke
OUTBACK, WA – In a small outback town where time seems to have stood still, two Aboriginal blokes found themselves embroiled in an intense and utterly ridiculous battle. What could have caused such a commotion, you may ask? Well, it all started with a seemingly innocent request when a local sheila, without any fuss or ceremony, asked for a smoke.
Barry and Mick, are two fellas who take smoking more seriously than anything else in their lives. Barry, a staunch Marlboro man, and Mick, a die-hard fan of Winfield Reds, believe they possess the exclusive authority to fulfil the damsel’s desire for a puff.
On a hot dusty afternoon, Barry and Mick, keen for coldie after a days work, stumbled upon a fair maiden sitting alone outside the local pub. Her name was Shazza, and she turned to them with a sweet smile, her eyes gleaming with the hope of a nicotine fix.
“Oi, mates, got a spare ciggy?” she asked, her voice as smooth as the Nullarbor Plains.
Barry and Mick locked eyes, their competitive spirits ignited. This was no ordinary request; it was a test of manhood, loyalty, and tobacco brand superiority. They jostled to be the first to whip out their respective packs of smokes, as if the fate of the entire outback depended on it.
“Marlboro, love. Nothing else will do,” Barry declared, puffing out his chest and straining to maintain his macho composure.
Mick scoffed, his moustache twitching with incredulity. “You’ve got it all wrong, mate. Winnie Red is the true essence of smoking pleasure,” he retorted, his voice ringing with conviction.
Shazza’s eyes darted between the two, her longing for nicotine momentarily forgotten as she absorbed the absurdity of the situation. But the blokes were too consumed by their own battle of wills to notice her confusion.
Their argument escalated into a full-blown smoke-off, complete with dramatic gestures, wild accusations, interpretive dance and cloud-shaped expletives. They even invoked the spirits of their forefathers, who apparently held profound insights into the superiority of their chosen brands.
Barry argued that Marlboro had the rugged American cowboy appeal, symbolising freedom and adventure. Mick countered with the supposed Australian grit and authenticity of the Winfield Red, reminding Barry that smoking it made him a true-blue Aussie, mate.
As the dust settled and the sun began to set, Shazza, tired of their ridiculous antics, had an epiphany. She stood up, grabbed both packets of cigarettes, and calmly walked away, leaving Barry and Mick stunned and speechless.
In the end, a woman has the authority to light up her own smoke, regardless of brand loyalty or the outlandish clash of male egos. It might seem like something to laugh about, but don’t let Barry & Mick know, they take public smoking very seriously.
