Devil Wins Landmark “Go to Hell” Case Against Divine Discrimination
SYDNEY, AU – In a stunning turn of events that’s got both heaven and hell buzzing, the Devil, known here in Australia as “Mr. D,” has won a landmark case against God under the Racial Discrimination Act, Section 18C. The claim? Divine discrimination.
The courtroom drama unfolded when Mr. D, represented by a team of lawyers so slick they made Lucifer look like a choir boy, argued that his millennia-long banishment to hell was not only unfair but also racially motivated. “God literally told me to ‘go to hell’ when I complained about the lack of air conditioning in heaven,” Mr. D testified, his voice dripping with irony and brimstone.
The defense, a heavenly host of legal eagles, tried to argue that hell was a job description rather than a punishment. “He’s the Chief Executive of Underworld Operations,” they claimed, but the judge, Hon. Justice Blazing, wasn’t having it.
“Under the Racial Discrimination Act, it’s not just about what you say, but how it makes one feel,” Justice Blazing explained, while adjusting her flame-retardant wig. “If someone tells you to ‘go to hell’ and you’re already there, it’s clearly an insult of the highest order, suggesting you belong there due to your inherent characteristics.”
The courtroom was aghast as Mr. D, known for his fiery temper, maintained a cool composure. “I simply wanted a transfer to a less hellish environment,” he quipped, “but it seems even in heaven, there’s no room for the other side of the coin.”
The verdict? God must now provide Mr. D with a transfer option or, at the very least, install air conditioning in hell. The ruling has sparked debates worldwide on divine workplace rights and whether eternal damnation counts as an HR violation.
In response, God’s PR team issued a statement saying, “We are reviewing our divine HR policies to ensure inclusivity for all beings, even those traditionally associated with darkness.”
Meanwhile, Mr. D has taken to social media with #HellIsOver if #HeavenIsNotForEveryone, trending faster than the fall of an angel.
In the end, it seems even the underworld has rights, and perhaps, just perhaps, the devil’s in the details of the law.
