Shock as King Charles to Appoint Prince Harry as Australia’s Governor General
King Charles Plans to Appoint Prince Harry as Australia’s Governor General: A Masterstroke of Royal Strategy
In a move that has shocked, bewildered, and left us all questioning the state of the monarchy, King Charles III is reportedly considering appointing Prince Harry as Australia’s next Governor General.
Clearly, after the recent referendum the King believes that the people of Australia are in dire need of a firm hand to prevent them from breaking free from the iron shackles of constitutional monarchy. After all, it’s not easy being a colony that enjoys a great deal of autonomy, universal healthcare, and stunning beaches.
Enter Prince Harry, the perfect candidate to instill fear in the hearts of these insubordinate Australians. His extensive experience in the military has certainly prepared him for the role of quashing rebellions and killing insurgents… or at least, he’ll make a valiant effort between sips of Australian Shiraz.
For years, we’ve had to endure the unbearable whining of Prince Harry about being the second-born royal, or as he likes to put it, “the spare.” By shipping Harry off to the land Down Under, he’ll have a full-time job with a title that sounds important. It’s a win-win situation. Harry gets to feel like he’s doing something useful, and we get a reprieve from his constant moaning.
Ah, the pièce de résistance of this brilliant plan. Australia, initially used to exile British convicts, is the ideal place to dispatch troublesome royals. King Charles, in a stroke of genius, has decided that instead of locking Harry in the Tower of London, he’ll exile him to a country known for its beautiful landscapes, friendly people, and glorious weather.
Even though Harry’s wife, Meghan Markle, has spoken out about craving privacy, whispers suggest she’s worried about being too far from the public eye in Australia. Apparently, she’s fretting that her fashion choices might go unnoticed Down Under.
When approached about the decision most Aussies remarked “it’s better than Linda Burney”.
