Gladys Berejiklian admits lockdowns were just to avoid being seen in public with Daryl Maguire

SYDNEY, NSW － In a startling revelation that has left the entire state of New South Wales dumbfounded, former Premier Gladys Berejiklian has come clean about the real reason behind the COVID-19 lockdowns. Brace yourselves, because this is a tale of love, deceit, and strategic manouvering that will make your jaw drop!

Following the ICAC’s findings of misconduct for failing to disclose her relationship with disgraced MP Daryl Maguire, Berejiklian decided to throw caution to the wind and reveal the true motivation behind her stringent lockdown measures. It turns out that these restrictions had nothing to do with public health concerns and everything to do with concealing her blossoming romance with Maguire!

Instead of candlelit dinners at fancy restaurants or romantic strolls in the park, Berejiklian cunningly orchestrated lockdowns, giving her the perfect excuse to keep her relationship with Maguire under wraps. Who needs public displays of affection when you can enjoy a cozy night in and blame it on public health?

“Oh, the lengths I went to for love,” Berejiklian confessed, wiping away a fake tear during her tell-all interview. “I knew that if Daryl and I were spotted out and about, the media would have a field day. So, what better way to dodge their prying eyes than by imposing lockdowns left, right, and centre? It was all part of my grand plan!”

As absurd as this may sound, one cannot deny the genius behind Berejiklian’s ruse. While her constituents grumbled about canceled events and closed businesses, little did they know they were unwitting participants in a grand love affair. Berejiklian masterfully manipulated the entire state, keeping her romance alive in secret while the rest of us anxiously waited for the day we could ditch our masks and regain our freedom. Surely letting the economy cool down is a small price for her to Netflix and chill.

Of course, the ICAC findings and Berejiklian’s subsequent confession have sparked outrage among the public. People are now left wondering if there’s a hidden agenda behind every government decision. Could the implementation of curfews, school closures, and travel restrictions all be elaborate schemes to conceal juicy scandals? Is every politician secretly engaging in a forbidden deeds and using public policy as a cover and a distraction? Surely not!