Teal MP selflessly flys business class to help accelerate Net Zero

MELBOURNE, VIC －In an astonishing display of selflessness and environmental consciousness, independent Senator Monique Ryan has taken it upon herself to fly business class on every single flight, all in the name of reducing carbon footprints. Her noble mission is simple: by leaving the peasants cramped in the back, she creates more room for economy class passengers and thereby lightens the burden on our precious planet. But it’s not just her choice of seat that has garnered attention; it’s also her unique approach to onboard safety measures.

Picture this: a bustling airplane cabin, filled with a mix of hopeful travelers and disgruntled economy class dwellers. As the plane reaches cruising altitude, the familiar announcement echoes through the speakers: “Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seatbelts, as we may experience some turbulence.” And then, it happens—a sudden drop in cabin pressure, causing the oxygen masks to cascade from their compartments.

Now, one might expect Senator Ryan, in all her virtuous glory, to promptly don her own mask, leading by example. But no, with the grace and charm of a seasoned politician, she rushes to the nearest intercom and proclaims, “Ladies and gentlemen, WEAR YOUR MASKS!” as she points around the cabin.

As passengers in economy class scramble to put on their masks, they glance towards the front, only to find Senator Ryan maskless, her face sporting a look of defiance. “Why isn’t she wearing her own mask?” they whisper in confusion. Unbeknownst to them, Senator Ryan has elevated the notion of self-sacrifice to new heights. By abstaining from personal mask usage, she ensures that more oxygen can flow to the lungs of those behind her. It’s the kind of selflessness that only a true hero can muster.

As one might imagine, the spectacle on board becomes a hot topic of conversation for weeks to come. Memes circulate, portraying Senator Ryan as a superhero, cape billowing behind her, with a caption that reads, “She doesn’t need oxygen—she breathes virtue!” Others jokingly wonder if she’s discovered a secret technique for photosynthesis, thereby bypassing the need for in-flight sustenance and to reduce her carbon footprint further. One can only imagine the excitement that must ensue every time Senator Ryan steps onto an aircraft, leaving passengers guessing whether they will be graced with her magnanimous presence or a fleeting glimpse of her climate-conscious cape.

While some may scoff at Senator Monique Ryan’s unconventional methods, we must commend her for her tireless efforts to combat climate change. She has truly found a way to fly through the skies while carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.