Women Can Now Predict Interest Rates According to Chalmers’ Groundhog Theory
CANBERRA, ACT – In a stunning turn of events, Treasurer Jim Chalmers recently found himself in an embarrassing situation after appointing Michele Bullock as the first female Governor of the Reserve Bank of Australia. It turns out that Chalmers mistakenly believed her name was Michael, causing him to issue a public apology for his colossal oversight of appointing a woman.
Chalmers, was left red-faced when he realised his mistake. He immediately took to the podium, seeking absolution from the nation for his error in judgment. In a somber tone, he admitted that if Australia had an indigenous voice to parliament, this incident would have been avoided entirely.
“Imagine if we had an indigenous voice to parliament,” Chalmers lamented. “This mix-up would have been impossible. Their wisdom and guidance, and input to executive government, would have prevented such a blunder from occurring in the first place. We clearly need to humbly recognise our first peoples in the constitution to prevent these mishaps.”
Nevertheless, Chalmers attempted to salvage the situation with a touch of humour. He confidently declared that if a groundhog can predict the arrival of winter, then surely a woman can make an educated guess about what interest rates should do. After all, isn’t that how monetary policy works? It’s all just a guessing game, right?
